marg says I should journal my cravings

Since this is sort of my journal....I thought I would add just a couple things

I crave grape slushes from sonic ridiculously

anything spicy and when I say spicy I mean spicy, like a spicy chicken sandwich with 2 slices of pepper jack lol. I like it hot.

I'm still getting sick a couple times a week only twice at work so that's good.

Sleeping sucks its uncomfortable as all hell.

I feel tired so much, I give it to the fact that I'm older this time around.

Starting to get headaches and heartburn more often.

We registered!!!! yeah Target!!!

Chris bought the cutest bib that said sloppy kisser....I love it

IT'S A GIRL!!!!

So OMG it's a girl.

We had our 20 week ultrasound a couple weeks ago. I got there first cause Chris was still at work. I felt like I was gonna pee all over the waiting room. it is so ridiculous that they haven't figured out a way to do this without torturing poor pregnant women filling them up with so much water. Anyways I was so happy when they told me I could pee a little. such a small thing to be happy about. They always take the mom first and do all the measurements first. So we are back there and our tech was great. She told me that she ha the same date as we had originally thought. So the due date is still Aug4Th for full term. She also told me that my cervix had shortened almost a half a cm. when your only dealing with 4cm to start a half in a couple months is alot. anyways my cervix is down to 3.1cm and getting shorter.

I'm hoping when we get to see Genobaga next week he can make me feel better about the rapid loss of length. For those who dont know, your cervix is approx 4cm long normally. As you get closer to your due date your cervix tends to shorten and efface(thin). In my situation this is bad already. Hopefully we don't get bed rest. Fingers Crossed!!! The whole time she was doing her measurements and I was trying my hardest to see sex organs or the lack thereof. I was almost positive that I was not seeing little testicles.

When She called Chris back he was so excited to see the baby and learn the sex. Our little girl is such a mover. She moved and kicked so much she made it hard for the tech to get measurements at first. Chris got a little show and she switched it to 3d so we could get a better look at her features. Shes still so skinny it looks a little scary. Eventually she goes right between the legs, pauses the screen, and.....TAKES A PHONE CALL. LOL. When she came back we had discussed what we thought we saw and she confirmed that we have a daughter on the way. Go Lindsey Claire.

It was finally over and I could pee... Woohoo relief. While I was dressing Chris asked the tech how certain she was. She said shes not allowed to guarantee but she has been doing this for 35 years and that's a vagina. I laughed. Until on the way home from sutter buttes Chris says.....You know we have to have another now right!!!!

OMG he has to be kidding right after miscarriage and cerclage, he wants another ugh five is too many. Thankfully we have cleared that up. I feel her all the time and its getting where you can see her moving around if you focus on my belly for a min. Work is getting tiring but I am so happy to have a job right now. especially one with the people I work with. They have been there and supported me when I needed it most. I'm really starting to show and ill post some pics in the next week or so. maybe a video of the movements cause its weird.

I know my sisters have started to plan a shower and I am so excited for that. We decided since this is Chris first we are doing a big coed party to celebrate Lindsey rather than your traditional women only baby shower. I would love to include him and he loves it too. So end of June is the shower. Hopefully early June we have the stitched clipped and she comes shortly after that. I guess you just never know with these cerclages. I'm hoping a little early to diminish the chances of ANOTHER 9lb baby. So that's all for now. Pics to come soon

20 weeks half way through

Well I have done really well since the cerclage. I have had no pain and haven't had any weird feelings or pains. I was really worried because some women claim to be able to feel the cerclage and that it is uncomfortable. thankfully I haven't felt it a stitch. I only feel a little bit of relief. We are quickly approaching the 21 and half week mark where we lost last time. Its really scary but I am really happy to know that I have done this to try and prevent best we can. I'm starting to show and that's really exciting. I still just feel a little fat but thankfully its definitely more noticeable now. We get our midway ultrasound on Friday and we should find out the sex and know whether we are having a Charlie or a Lindsey. I know Chris wants to carry on that Franco name but I cant help but wish for a little more pink in the house. Soon enough we will know. I am really just happy that Dr. Genobaga stepped up and offered this procedure so that Chris and I can make it through this pregnancy and end it with a healthy baby. I feel fear and relief. Ill be happy to see him/her in a few days.

the "Cerclage" February 22nd 2010

We were scheduled for nine thirty surgery, but had to be there at 7am. Couldn't eat or drink anything after midnight last night, jeez don't they know I'm a starving pregnant girl. LOL Everything went just as you would expect got all checked out, monitors installed. Got my iv, lots of questions, lots of answers. I asked all the questions but I am still really scared just because this could be just thing that makes me miscarry again. But I know my doc is great and he will do everything he can to make sure we are OK. They wheeled me in at 9:24 and started getting me all ready. Damn that room was cold. Once they started the medication I fell right asleep and the next thing I remember it was 10:20 and it was all over. My biggest fear was cramps and pain but I really had none. the worst thing was how sore I was. I felt like I ran a marathon. turns out the position the put you in is some serious business. All in all I am really pleased with how the procedure went but only time will tell if this will work....I really hope so

January 26th our first real ultrasound.

So in preparation for the cerclage Dr. genobaga wanted us to get an ultrasound to make sure all was well with the baby before we proceed. We got to see him moving all over the place. Chris was brave and asked the ultrasound tech what she thought about the sex. she went right between the legs and said...well that may be something then she quickly moved the wand and said.... its too early to tell. Well it looked like a boy:) but you never know. We decided to try the intelligender test at cvs. I peed in the cup and went online to see what the real percentages on being correct were and read around 80% of people who went online had a correct test. The test came out boy again. I'm pretty sure its a boy.

First appointment

So today we got to see our baby for the first time. We had our first appointment with Dr. Genobaga today. Both of us were ridiculously nervous and excited, me more nervous and Chris more excited. I knew going in I was going to be getting a lot of information to process so I was a big ball of nerves waiting in the waiting room. Once we got back it was nice to hear I had gained only 4 pounds so far. God I feel fat.... Once we got back Dr. Genobaga asked about anything that had been going on since the last time he saw us. He went over the circlage thing again. Told me first we have to do a real ultrasound and make sure the baby is growing properly and that the pregnancy is going normal before we can do the procedure. Once we get the ultrasound he will schedule the surgery. That's what it is...surgery....I have to have an epidural it hurts so bad and then be on bed rest for a week to recoup. He says between 15-16 weeks so that puts it right at valentines day.... Right near when baby Chris was due:( I'm scared and nervous about all kinds of things. I'm nervous just about the procedure and the risks involved. Although very rare it could make me miscarry all over again and I cannot deal with that. I'm scared that its such a lot of appointments and procedures that everyone around me is going to be inconvenienced. My family, my coworkers, my kids. I know that's not anything that I should worry about but I do. After the procedure I understand we will have a lot more appointments and I just want to be able to do it all. I know I wont get to do anything though. Once we got to the ultrasound the mood lightened a ton. For Chris it became real right then. We got to see his/her heartbeat and he/she was moving around so much it was fun to watch. Only two more weeks and we get to see it all again. He said everything looked good and that the ultrasound confirmed I was 11 weeks just like I thought. Looks like an early August baby if I can keep him/her in that long. So so far so good!! I'm trying to stay positive in all of this even with a dark cloud trying to rain on my parade. Oh yeah and we picked some names....What do you think

Girl: Lindsey Claire Franco (same as last time)

Boy: Charles (Charlie) William Franco

exciting news......

So I am new to this whole Bogspot thing. I have many friends who have blogged about numerous events in their lives.


Its my turn.


I'm starting this blog to follow my pregnancy that I just learned about 2 days ago. This pregnancy is a happy event in my life but also very clouded with fear. Last year I lost my son, Christopher Charles Franco, to cervical incompetence.


We found out last June that we were pregnant, and Chris and I were excited. Chris couldn't keep it in and called everyone he knew and told them all. We waited for the day to get to the Dr for the first time. Dr. Genobaga had been a couple of my friends doctors and I chose him because of their recommendations. We went to all of the appointments excitedly awaiting the day we would know if it was a boy or girl. The day we found out we were having a son, we announced it to everyone by wearing shirt's we made that said its a boy!!!

When I was about 22 weeks Chris and I decided we would take a quick weekend away just the two of us before things started to get hectic. We decided to head to Dillon's beach and camp for a couple nights. The first night we were there we set up camp and had a really great night. We played cards in our tent, took a walk on the beach, spent quality time. Our world came crashing down first thing the next morning.

I woke up not feeling well. I was kind of crampy and had an upset stomach. It was still really early and cold so my walk to the outhouse style bathroom they have was not so pleasant. I was shocked and scared when I realized I was bleeding. I moved quickly. I went back to the tent. I will admit I was freaking out. Chris and I got dressed as quickly as we can and got in the truck. We headed to the ranger station to ask for some directions and were told the closest hospital is in petaluma. I got on the phone with the Dr. Genobaga who told us that I should eat and relax and get in to see someone if I was concerned.


We started our drive to the hospital and very quickly the situation got worse. I was having serious and severe contractions the entire way there, not to mention we had no clue where we were going. We were both very stressed and totally out of it. When we got to the hospital, they were great, but sadly we were not fast enough. In the waiting room while we were waiting to be taken up to ob/gyn, my water broke.

My first thought was its way to early. I needed to tell Chris. I have three children, I have been through birth and labor and all that but he had never. I had to tell him that that meant there was no baby. I just cried on his shoulder when I told him. I felt like I had taken away all his hopes and dreams and crushed them. He just cried. they took us up and got me hooked up to monitors. after a bit they came in to tell us that Christopher was still alive, his little heart was beating, but it was slowing down and will eventually stop.

I felt stabbed.... I felt like the world was unfair... what did we do to deserve this. To deserve to lose something we never even knew we wanted so much. It was the hardest labor I ever had. Even though he was just shy of two pounds the pain I felt was probably more emotional than physical. The fact that there was no one else there to support us or to be there was even harder. To be the one to call your friends and family was so hard. After little Chris was born the nurses took him right away to clean him up so we could hold him just once.

Sometimes we wonder if we made the right choice seeing him. He was so little and frail. He was innocent and so deserving of everything in life but instead was lifeless and tiny. Having gone through childbirth before it was probably a different experience for me than it was for


Chris and most of my heartbreak came from knowing that this was his first baby. His first attempt at life and it had been taken from him.


I felt very responsible.


Maybe if I hadn't moved that big picnic table with Chris when we were setting up camp, maybe if I had seen the doctor on Friday instead of waiting till Monday, Maybe there was something I could have done differently to save my son. I felt like I had taken something from him.


Chris Dad came that night to support us, he was the only one who came. I had to stay another day at the hospital because of some bleeding issues so Chris and his dad were forced to take down camp alone. The only other stop we made before leaving town was at the funeral home to pick up our sons ashes. Choosing my sons urn was the last thing I thought I would have to do on our little camping trip. Now that urn, a year or more later, still sits in the same spot. With a keepsake box with my little Chris's footprints and cribcard, the blanket they wrapped him in when they brought him to see us, and his little hat that swallowed his tiny little head. that box is a really sad thing for us. I am hoping someday we can come to a more permanent and established spot for my little guy....but for now he stays.


When we returned home we went to see Dr. Genobaga for a follow up and to discuss what happened. He diagnosed me with and incompetent cervix. Too many babies and dncs have made my cervix a wimp. Cant do its job. The doc told me to wait a bit before getting pregnant again and that if we decided to do it again things would be different the next time around. He told me to google cervical cerclage and do some of my own research.


I took the depo shot to prevent an instant pregnancy and it worked... for a year lol. We weren't exactly trying but we weren't not trying either. Sometimes I would buy tests and try it out and sometimes I would just wait and be disappointed when I started my period again. Finally on November 2009 we had a few friends over to visit and I was decorating the house for Christmas. I went to put some things in my hall closet and realized there was an old box of things I had pulled out of my car recently that had been jammed in the closet to be out of the way. In the box there was a pregnancy test.


I didn't say a word. I went to the bathroom as if it was nothing, not expecting anything other than a single line. I peed and it started to show a faint second line....I was shocked. I stared for a few minutes and finally got up the nerve to call chris in. I told him "i need your opinion, does it look like there's a line there to you" his smile said enough. He agreed. I asked him to please not say a word and to take me to Walgreen's so we could get a brand new test and make sure.


That night we bought a two pack. The first one I took showed a second line again but it was still faint. having been pregnant 4 times already I had NEVER had a faint line always there always obvious. I told him I would wait till morning when my pee was stronger. The next morning we got the same result. Chris was so paranoid the test may be wrong he made me buy a digital test. One that says pregnant or not pregnant. I drove to work that morning bought a test on the way and of course...pregnant.


Chris and I have been discussing when and who to tell. We want to keep this one private for a while. for just us and our family and VERY close friends to share. I cant handle another situation like last time. Where were out in town and a friend of a friend who knew we were expecting but has no clue we lost tells me you look great and hows the pregnancy. explaining was the worst. I don't want to do it again.


So I have read up on the Cervical Cerclage and am awaiting my first Dr. appt with Genobaga to hear his info on the subject. I am taking it extremely easy, just for precaution. And last but not least I decided to start this blog. I am hoping that telling my story, sharing it, can bring me some closure with my son and maybe even bring me closer to some people who know all about this and can share stories and tips. I don't know anyone who has had a cerclage personally or many people who have miscarried later in pregnancy. I am hoping for some support from people who have been there. My first post was long and I hope I never have to tell a story like this again. I will keep you updated.....